30 top Nanu-sense updates on FB – Part 2

By May 19, 2011 May 23rd, 2014 NanuSense
  1. Sotally tober!
  2. Saw a friend the other day across the road, called him on his mobile and said “Am looking at your profile”. “Which one? Facebook? LinkedIn? Orkut?”…”Nope, your side profile”… 🙂
  3. Some people have such terrible introduction to themselves, wish I had a ‘Skip intro’ option.
  4. Found an interesting way to beat the Bengaluru traffic. Tail behind an ambulance.
  5. When you shell out that kinda money for Evian water bottle next time, remember to read it backwards.
  6. Religious wars are basically people trying to kill each other over who has the better imaginary friend.
  7. The ayodhya plot thickens. People are insisting on Laxman temple instead of Ram temple now!
  8. It’s a lil scary when your wife suddenly calls you to take a term insurance. The plot thickens if she is working for an insurance company.
  9. Wayne Rooney and Alex Ferguson have changed their relationship status to ‘Its complicated’. Manchester City ‘like’ this.
  10. I should stop complaining often before FB decides to put “What’s your problem today?” on my status bar.
  11. CNN News: “Kidnapped couple to release DVD of Somali terror”…Think I’ll wait for the pirate copy.
  12. Julian Assange is a hypocrite. Why didn’t he expose his hiding place before he was arrested?
  13. Guy Fieri attempted to commit suicide in a minute after watching Gaurav.
  14. Due to lack in internet connectivity, Egypt is officially now just Gypt.
  15. hey hey hey! Now this is getting personal. I do have a life outside facebook, but I just can’t remember the password for it.
  16. Have you noticed, the most popular reply to “Say cheese” these days is “Don’t you dare put this up on Facebook”?
  17. Damn I wish I had subtitles in my life. There are some dumb heads who just won’t get it. Would be simple to add this as a subtitle for them time and again “Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.”
  18. C sharp. Enter pub. B flat…music to my ears!
  19. Iron Man came to my door and knocked. I jumped out of my seat, carefully opened the door. He hands over a packet…”Sir, 44 Rupees”!
  20. Preparing a memo to our employees – Due to recession, the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off.
  21. It’s only been 2 weeks with my jigsaw puzzle. Think I’ve made good progress coz the box says 5-6 yrs.
  22. Don’t you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn’t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go to the bathroom now.
  23. oh crap! my friend’s status said “suicidal and standing on a cliff” So I Poked him. He’s not answering calls now!
  24. a duck was about to cross the road when a chicken came running up and said… “don’t do it man, you will never hear the end of it!”
  25. ”The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington
  26. Kal ki socho” “Sar uttake jiyo”. Perfect. You look up and walk, you trip and fall, you die and get paid…Fantastic communication from HDFC.
  27. Dips was talking about some new weekly diet her colleague was doing, each day you eat just one thing. Phew! I tried eating just coconuts (for obvious reasons) and bananas one day. I don’t know what I was supposed to achieve (like lose or gain weight), but I sure can climb trees now!
  28. weekend almost here. please don’t drink and drive – it’s not only the cars that can be recalled by their maker!
  29. Google turned 12 this year. This means we only have one more year to use it before it turns into a teenager and won’t answer anything!
  30. For the Americans it was 9/11, for us Indians, 26/11, for me personally, its 5/11.
Nanu

About Nanu

Communication specialist, wannabe stand-up comedian, sports maniac, music freak, gadget aficionado, movie enthusiast, biriyani addict (If it wasn’t for this 5 letter domain, mostly would've gone with deathbybiriyani.com).

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